A woman applying for a job in a lemon orchard in Te Puke seemed to be far too qualified for the job, given her arts, and education degrees from Waikato University, and her job as a social worker and a teacher at the local Polytech.
The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this: Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"
"Well, as a matter of fact, I have!" she replied, "I've been divorced three times, owned a Holden station wagon, a Lada, supported the Blues for the last 4 years, voted for David Cunliffe, and bought shares in Dick Smith..."
Foreman, "When can you start.?”
How To Decipher The Sex of Flies.
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Hunting flies” he answered.
“Oh! Killing any?” she asked
“Yep! Three males and two females.”
Intrigued, she asked, “How can you tell them apart?”
“Three were on the beer can and two on the phone!’ he responded.
