Editors Humour.
When our client's dog lapped up anti-freeze, the veterinarian I work for ordered a unique treatment: an IV drip mixing fluids with vodka. "Go buy the cheapest bottle you can find," he told me. At the liquor store, I was uneasy buying cheap booze so early in the day, and I felt compelled to explain things to the clerk. "Believe it or not," I said, "this is for a sick dog." As I was leaving, the next customer plunked down two bottles of muscatel and announced, "These are for my cats."
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When a neighbour's home was burglarised, Cheryl decided to be more safety conscious. But her measly front-door lock wasn’t going to stop anyone, so she hung this sign outside: "Nancy, don’t come in. The snake is loose. Cheryl."
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Michelle can’t tell the difference between a rose and a dandelion. So when it came time to fix up her garden, she had no clue which plants to keep and which ones to remove. Until that is, her mother gave her this handy tip:
"Pull them all up. If it comes back, it’s a weed."
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Chris was telling a couple that wished to place their house on the market with him,
"It’s tough enough selling a home nowadays. Don’t make the mistakes that turned off people who viewed a recent open home:
• "It was a good house, well-maintained. But the bed with the person in it was off-putting."
• "The family dog, long departed, was stuffed and standing next to the fireplace. RIP Sparky."
• "The main distraction was dirt. Although there was the tiny child who proudly showed us the refrigerator full of ‘Daddy’s beer’ just outside an upstairs bedroom."
